Adoption by Gay Families Continues to Roil UK

A UK family say that they don't want two young brothers to go to a stable, loving home--because the adoptive parents are a gay couple.

The family of the birth mother, who was compelled to relinquish custody of the children after she allowed the boys' father to have unauthorized contact with them, have offered to adopt the boys themselves, only to be turned down, according to a Daily Mail article published Apr. 4.

The family, which lives in Somerset, is so determined that the brothers not go to gay adoptive parents that they have gone to the courts to stop the adoption, which is scheduled to go forward this month.

Their grandfather, who, like the mother and the boys themselves, was not identified, was quoted as saying, "The boys thought they were getting a new mummy and daddy, not a daddy and daddy.

"We are not homophobic," the grandfather, who is in his 60s, continued, "but we feel strongly this adoption is against our family's Christian values."

The article also quoted the brothers' grandmother, who said, "Our grandsons are being forcibly taken from a family who want them dearly.

"We are worried they will be indoctrinated into a different lifestyle."

Accused the grandmother, "This is social engineering by the state."

The article reported that the boys' father had struck their mother, and that social services had claimed that the boys witnessed physical abuse taking place.

After the boys' parents split up, their mother took out a restraining order on their father, but the father coaxed her into allowing him to visit the boys. That visit, taking place despite the restraining order, led social services to place the boys in foster care, where they have remained for two years.

The mother was quoted as saying, "I made a mistake by letting him back to see them. But that does not mean I should lose my sons for ever."

Her estranged husband has now moved to a different part of the country. The mother argued in a Somerset family court that a homosexual household is not a suitable environment for her sons.

The boys' uncle offered to take them in as well, citing concerns that he said his own gay acquaintances had brought up. "Will [the adoptive couple] stay together? Are they in a civil partnership? What happens to the children if they split up?"

The aunt was quoted as saying, "We are not drinkers or smokers. We are emotionally stable homeowners and taxpayers. We love these boys, and yet we were not allowed to give them a good life within their own family."

The article cited social workers as expressing concern that the brothers go to a home where the adults enjoy a stable relationship.

The article did not address UK divorce rates among heterosexual couples, which are as high as divorce rates elsewhere in the Western world, but it did claim that of twenty gay families that have adopted children, none of them had entered into a formal civil partnership, the UK equivalent to a civil union.

The mother claimed that she had been told that the adoptive parents would be two men; she says she was told to make a swift agreement to the adoption so that the brothers would not be separated.

Said the mother, "I was dismayed to find they are going to a single-sex couple.

"Social workers just dumped the truth on me," the mother added. "I was called to their office about the adoption procedures, and they said the boys' new parents would be a single-sex couple."

The mother also gave voice to fears that her sons might "innocently copy" same-sex gestures of intimacy between the adoptive couple, leading to harassment and bullying at school, the article said.

A government official was quoted as saying that, "all our cases go through a lengthy legal process. All stakeholders are consulted and the final decision is made by the judge."

The case parallels a similar case in Edinburgh from earlier this year, in which a brother and sister were adopted by a gay couple.

In that case, also, the mother--whom the article said was a heroin addict in recovery--and the grandparents expressed alarm as the fact that a gay family would be adopting the children, according to a Jan. 29 article in the Daily Mail.

In that case, the grandparents fought for two years to win custody, but were not awarded the care of the children due to their age and health concerns.

Said the mother in that case, "I did not under any circumstances want my children to be placed with gay men.

"I wanted them to have a mum and a dad," continued the mother.

"They can't be telling me that, within a 60-mile radius, the only people they could find to look after my children were two men."

As with the current case, the mother claimed to harbor no animus toward gay couples, saying, "I've got nothing against gay people.

"I've got gay friends, but children need a mum and a dad, not a dad and another dad."

The mother was quoted as expressing remorse at her own behavior, saying, "I'm ashamed of what I've done, especially what I've put mum and dad through," and as condemning the decision not to award custody of the children to their grandparents.

"My children deserve so much love and my mum and dad were prepared to give them it, but social work snatched them away," said the mother.

Edinburgh city council member Marilyne MacLaren was quoted in that article as saying, "I have been assured that the professional view is that the adoptive couple will provide a safe, secure and loving environment for these children."

McLaren acknowledged the role the children's biological family had played, saying, "These are always very complex cases but I think it is important to say that the grandparents have been fully involved in discussions about this case over a period of time."

The issue of gay couples adopting children has been a controversial one for some time in the UK. Late last year, a British Catholic bishop pulled the funding of an adoption agency that had been affiliated with the church, because the agency has opted to consider same-sex families for adoption services.

Lancaster's Bishop Patrick O'Donohue resigned from the board of Catholic Caring Services and wrote to the agency that it will not receive funds from the church, nor be allowed to refer to itself as being affiliated with the Catholic church, according to a Dec. 22 article at anti-gay religious news site LifeSiteNews.

In his Dec. 17 letter to the adoption agency, Bishop O'Donohue called the agency's decision a "tragic rejection of the Church's moral teaching," the site reported.

Catholic Caring Charities determined that it would consider same-sex families as prospective adoptive parents following the 2007 passage of the British "Sexual Orientation Regulations," which ban any discriminatory treatment of GLBT people in the area of services.

The law does provide for faith-based agencies, allowing them leeway to deny services to gays and lesbians based on religious beliefs, the site reported, but the agency in question did not choose to assert its rights under that provision, opting instead to treat gay and lesbian families equitably.

In other, similar cases, UK charitable agencies affiliated with the church were allowed by their bishops to keep their funding, the article said.

But the agency's decision was unacceptable to Bishop O'Donohue, who accused the agency of a "capitulation" to the government's anti-discrimination law.

Wrote O'Donohue, "Though Catholic Caring Services are involved in a whole range of valuable work with the disabled, the disadvantaged and the marginalized, how can I allow the Catholic Church to be associated with a body that has chosen a path that co-operates with actions that are against the explicit moral teaching of the Church?"

The bishop explained his objection in terms of concern for the children who would be placed in same-sex households, writing, "It is God's intention that children are nurtured and raised by a loving father and mother, who become role models to boys and girls about what it means to be a husband and wife, a mother and a father."

The bishop wrote angrily about gay families being allowed to adopt as a matter of practicality, declaring, "That [placement in mixed-gender homes] is seen as an unrealistic ideal by some in politics and the media shows how far our society has distorted morality."

Added the bishop, "If Catholic Caring Services truly hold that the needs of children are paramount it would do whatever possible to ensure that a child is placed with a father and a mother."